One Year

Happy first anniversary, Blake and Kaley!

Clayton Obituary

Below is Mom's obituary which ran in today's Clayton Tribune.  A special thanks to my cousin, Mike Floyd, who wrote it.

Janis Brown Bonner, 61, passed away Friday, July 20, 2012, after a brief illness. A native of Rabun Gap, Jan was a longtime resident of Greenville, S.C., where she recently retired after nearly 30 years of devotion to the field of education.

She is survived by: her husband of 39 years, Olin Bonner; a son and daughter-in-law, Blake and Kaley Bonner of Greenville; a daughter and son-in-law, Jill and Nick Farr of Greenville; a granddaughter, Brooklynn Brown Farr of Greenville; a sister, Sharon Floyd of Boiling Springs, S.C.; and a host of loving nieces, nephews and cousins.

Jan was the daughter of the late Morris and Genelle Brown of Rabun Gap.

She will be fondly remembered by all who knew her as a fine Christian, loving parent, devoted spouse, dedicated teacher, trusted friend and exceptional role model.

A graduate of the University of Georgia, Jan leaves a legacy of significant contribution in the fields of education and athletics. She was an original student editor of Foxfire, a groundbreaking high school educational program founded at Rabun Gap-Nacoochee School that worked to preserve Appalachian heritage for future generations.

Many of her photos appeared in the pages of Life Magazine.

She remains a leading scorer in RGNS basketball history and earned a scholarship to West Georgia College, where she played two years before transferring to the University of Georgia, where she earned a degree in journalism from the Grady College. She later earned a master’s degree in library science from the University of South Carolina.

She was a media specialist for the Greenville County school system and a member of Buncombe Street United Methodist Church.

A graveside service and burial were held Monday at Wesley Chapel Cemetery on the RGNS campus. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in her loving memory to the National Pancreatic Cancer Foundation, NPCF, P.O. Box 1848, Longmont, CO 80502.

Condolences may be sent to the family by visiting http://www.thomasmcafee.com.

The Clayton Tribune, July 26, 2012

Read more: The Clayton Tribune - Janis Brown Bonner 

Thanks

First of all I would just like to thank everyone who has sent cards, flowers, memorials, meals, and all of those who have called or sent messages over the past two and a half months.  The outpouring of love that we have felt has surely made this process just a little easier.  You definitely find out who your friends are when something like this happens to a loved one and we appreciate each and every one of you.

I feel blessed to have had such a wonderful mother.  She was my person.   I loved that no matter what I was feeling- happiness, anger, stress etc. she always had the same reaction.  She was just good at acknowledging feelings.  There aren't many people I know who truly listen and acknowledge like she could.  It's important to have someone like that in your life.

This summer has been an absolute living hell, from the moment Mom and Dad sat down in my living room and told me she had cancer until now.  I never expected for things to happen so rapidly.  One day she was up and walking and smiling and the next she was in the bed and sick.  No child should ever have to watch a parent suffer the way that Blake and I have this summer.  I have spent every day at Mom and Dad's house trying to be of some help and comfort.  The stress, anxiety and complete helplessness that I have felt all day, every day, I will never forget.  My mind is so clouded with the pain and memories I witnessed this summer that it is hard for me to remember Mom before May.  I know that this will fade with time, but I also hope that I never forget what I witnessed and felt this summer because it has helped me put things in my life into perspective.

 I have watched my Dad be the person who Mom leaned on in these last months.  I always have known that Dad was a strong person, but this summer I witnessed it all day, everyday.  I cannot put into words what my father did for my mom to help make this illness more comfortable for her at every step of the way.   He has showed such bravery, and it makes me proud to say that he is my dad. He has earned his wings.

I know that many of you have asked about Brooklynn.  She and Mom were very close.  She has spent a lot of time at the house this summer and is fully aware that Mom was sick.  She didn't spend much time in Mom's bedroom over the past month simply because I didn't want her to see Mom in pain.  Yesterday when we got back to Greenville the first thing B did was ask where Mimi was.  Once we got to our own house we looked at pics of Mimi, and I told B that Mimi was very very sick and that the doctor couldn't make her feel better.  I told her that Mimi isn't sick anymore but we won't see her again.  I explained that Mommy, Pops, and Blake are very sad and that being sad and crying is ok.  When we want to see Mimi we will look at pictures of her.  I put several pics of the two of them on her mirror and she seemed ok with the conversation.  I have no idea if that's how I should have handled it, but that's what I did.

I guess now it is time to focus on getting back to life.  I woke up this morning and didn't know what to do with myself.  I can already hear Mom encouraging me to start those thank you notes. Ha! Those of you that knew her well will appreciate that.

Mom

Jan Brown Bonner

Visitation: Sunday, July 22- Thomas McAfee, Downtown Greenville- 6-7:30

Funeral: Monday, July 23- Thomas McAfee Chapel- 10:30

Burial: Monday, July 23- Wesley Chapel Cemetery, Dillard, GA 4:00

Update 7/16

Mom hasn't had a good couple of days.  She was in some pain early Saturday morning and was given some pain medication.  Since then she really hasn't been aware of things going on around her.  The nurse came by today and adjusted her medication some and we gave her an iv.  Last week was such a good week for Mom.  She was sitting up, eating, watching tv, and talking. This week is quite the opposite.  Hopefully she can snap out it in the next day or two.

The Hospice people have been great so far.  The nurse seems on top of things and the aide that comes 3 times a week to help bathe Mom is such a blessing.

Katie's Pool

Some of you may not know Aunt Shay's daughter,  Meredith.  This is Meredith and her husband Paul.

I'm sure you are wondering why I am pointing this out.  Watch this video about Paul's little sister Katie and you  will see why.

Productivity

I have spent 90% of my summer sitting at Mom and Dad's house trying to be of some help.    I must admit that I am starting to get a little bored.  I've read so many books, watched a lot of Fox news (certainly not by choice), and cleaned more than I ever have.  Time to find something more productive to do all day while I'm over there. 

This morning I stopped by Wal Mart and picked up a few things for a grand total of ten bucks!

I painted, cut and painted some more.

And this is my final product!  Anybody that teaches elementary school knows what a pain it is to keep up with hall passes and it is even harder to keep them from tearing up.  Clothes pins to the rescue.  A whole pack for .97 should last me the entire year.  So, here is my new hall pass holder!  Now taking orders!  :)  Dad told me not to quit my day job, but I think it's cute!

While at Wal Mart I was excited to discover one subject notebooks on sale for .17!  Yes, that is right 17 cents.  I spent the remainder of the afternoon creating whole class journals.  Each journal has a different topic and the every kid in the class will write once in each book.  An easy and cheap way to help improve those writing scores all while occupying early finishers.  I'm on a roll!

Hard Days

Monday was a hard day for me.  Knowing that my mom doesn't have much time and getting upset that she may not be here for the birth of her second grandchild and that she won't be here to watch he and B grow up is sometimes more than I can take.  Monday was one of those days as I watched her tell the doctor she was done with treatments.

And then I see things like this  . . .

Mike Leonard: Quadriplegic man fulfills dream of biking across country

Update 7/9

Today we took Mom to the doctor.  She was the best this doctor's visit that she has been for any of them.  So much so that the doc even jokingly introduced himself to Mom.  He discussed with her everything from the beginning of her diagnosis and her treatment options.  Mom made the decision to quit chemo and begin Hospice care.  This means that Hospice will now take the place of the at home nursing care that we are receiving now.  The doctor seemed fine with that decision. No blood work or scans were done so we have no idea if the chemo treatments were even working.  Mom has made her decision.
The Hospice nurse should be in touch some time tomorrow and then we will have a better idea of when and how often she will be at Mom and Dad's house.   The plus side is that this will give Mom much more care than she is receiving now and make Dad's job just a little easier for the time being.  Mom will still go to the doctor every few weeks for a check up.  She goes back in three weeks.
A big thank you to all of you who have helped out our family during this difficult time.  You have no idea how much help it has been to have Dad eating every night.  He rarely leaves the house bc he can't leave Mom alone so the delivered meals have been such a blessing.  I've gotten some emails about the delivery tab not working on the mealtrain site.  For some reason that isn't available for Greenville, so if that is something you are interested in, just email or facebook me.

Update 7/4

Mom had a much better day on Tuesday.  She sat in the chair in the living room for a long time and even ate a bowl of chicken soup from Chick Fil A! Dad, Aunt Shay, and I met with the Hospice people yesterday to get more information on their services.  Dad will meet with Mom's doctor on Monday to help determine if we will continue to give her chemo treatments or if we should move to Hospice care.  Obviously that is a very tough decision for Dad.  Mom obviously needs Hospice care, but if we move in that direction she no longer receives the at home nursing that she has now, physical therapy, and most importantly the cancer treatments from her doctor.  Instead, Hospice's goal is to make her more comfortable and provide us with any of the services to help her that we don't have now.  These things can all be done at our home with a nurse and caregivers who will be there much more frequently than the at home nurses we have now.  Hospice kind of feels like giving up, but I guess the discussion with the doctor will help determine if treatment has even helped or is worth it at this point.

Update: 7/ 2

Talk about about a roller coaster.  One week Mom is eating and sitting up and then the next Monday rolls around and we are right back to square one.  Mom went to the doctor today for chemo and an evaluation, and they didn't do either.  She has a couple of problems that they are concerned about and these are things that shouldn't have happened if  the at home nurse was doing her job (so says the doc).   Luckily Mom's doctor has replaced the at home nurse and a new  nurse is supposed to be coming by today.  They could not do the blood work because they couldn't get any blood.  Mom was too dehydrated.  So back home we go with another appointment scheduled for next Monday.  I don't know if they will continue with the chemo due to Mom's physical condition at this point and the fact that Mom just doesn't have the will to fight this it seems.  This post is definitely a downer, but that is where we are at this point.