Thanks

First of all I would just like to thank everyone who has sent cards, flowers, memorials, meals, and all of those who have called or sent messages over the past two and a half months.  The outpouring of love that we have felt has surely made this process just a little easier.  You definitely find out who your friends are when something like this happens to a loved one and we appreciate each and every one of you.

I feel blessed to have had such a wonderful mother.  She was my person.   I loved that no matter what I was feeling- happiness, anger, stress etc. she always had the same reaction.  She was just good at acknowledging feelings.  There aren't many people I know who truly listen and acknowledge like she could.  It's important to have someone like that in your life.

This summer has been an absolute living hell, from the moment Mom and Dad sat down in my living room and told me she had cancer until now.  I never expected for things to happen so rapidly.  One day she was up and walking and smiling and the next she was in the bed and sick.  No child should ever have to watch a parent suffer the way that Blake and I have this summer.  I have spent every day at Mom and Dad's house trying to be of some help and comfort.  The stress, anxiety and complete helplessness that I have felt all day, every day, I will never forget.  My mind is so clouded with the pain and memories I witnessed this summer that it is hard for me to remember Mom before May.  I know that this will fade with time, but I also hope that I never forget what I witnessed and felt this summer because it has helped me put things in my life into perspective.

 I have watched my Dad be the person who Mom leaned on in these last months.  I always have known that Dad was a strong person, but this summer I witnessed it all day, everyday.  I cannot put into words what my father did for my mom to help make this illness more comfortable for her at every step of the way.   He has showed such bravery, and it makes me proud to say that he is my dad. He has earned his wings.

I know that many of you have asked about Brooklynn.  She and Mom were very close.  She has spent a lot of time at the house this summer and is fully aware that Mom was sick.  She didn't spend much time in Mom's bedroom over the past month simply because I didn't want her to see Mom in pain.  Yesterday when we got back to Greenville the first thing B did was ask where Mimi was.  Once we got to our own house we looked at pics of Mimi, and I told B that Mimi was very very sick and that the doctor couldn't make her feel better.  I told her that Mimi isn't sick anymore but we won't see her again.  I explained that Mommy, Pops, and Blake are very sad and that being sad and crying is ok.  When we want to see Mimi we will look at pictures of her.  I put several pics of the two of them on her mirror and she seemed ok with the conversation.  I have no idea if that's how I should have handled it, but that's what I did.

I guess now it is time to focus on getting back to life.  I woke up this morning and didn't know what to do with myself.  I can already hear Mom encouraging me to start those thank you notes. Ha! Those of you that knew her well will appreciate that.